Use the ‘scientific method’ when dating – it could save your love life, psychologist says

Welcome to the Love Lab.

Psychologists say that the scientific method – “observation, hypothesis, experimentation, analysis and adjustment” should be applied to dating to stop singles from repeating the same mistakes and wanting to give up on romance altogether.

The first step in the scientific method is observation, which involves collecting data and recognizing patterns.

Experts suggest keeping an “encounter log” to record and reflect on your behaviors and patterns.

“By reflecting on your relationship history, you gather important insights that can help you make better choices in the future,” said Dr. Mark Travers told Psychology Today.

Once you’ve made your observations, it’s time to formulate a hypothesis—an educated guess based on your data.

“In dating, this means reflecting on your past relationships and making assumptions about what changes might lead to better outcomes,” Travers explained.

Look at what went wrong and decide what changes could lead to better results – like not being asked for a refund after a date.

For example, if you’ve noticed that unclear communication about “values” has led to problems, you might hypothesize that being more open from the start could improve your dating experiences, according to Travers.

The experimentation phase is where the excitement lies.

You don’t have to go crazy concocting a crazy love potion. Just start by changing some of the behaviors you believe may be getting in the way of finding “the one.”

For example, date someone who piques your interest but isn’t traditionally your “type.”

“Every guess gives you a new approach to try what works best,” Travers said.

“Instead of continuing to date on autopilot or falling into old patterns, you can treat every dating experience as an opportunity to experiment and gather new data.”

However, this does not mean that you should treat people as “test subjects” or “disposable”.

Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, a sociologist, intimacy speaker and author, previously told The Post that the convenience of dating apps has made people see each other as available.

The abundance of choices and ease of dating has led people to have a “move to the next” mentality and made dating more superficial.

“That mentality around dating can make it harder to do the hard work of working on a relationship,” Gunsaullus explained.

Find the balance of respecting each date without taking it too seriously—and save yourself heartbreak.

“Every new relationship is a chance to test new hypotheses, ultimately helping you better understand what works for you in love,” said the expert.

Regularly analyzing your dating life, whether it’s over brunch with the girls, beers with the guys, or reading the “dating log,” allows you to improve your approach and better understand your perfect match and yourself.

“Over time, you’ll begin to understand which qualities in a partner align with your values ​​and which dating behaviors either strengthen or weaken your bonds,” Travers said.

Like science experiments, not all dating trials will succeed, but each one provides valuable data for future adjustments – then you can confidently say, “It’s not me, it’s you.”

“It’s all about learning from every relationship or interaction and using that knowledge to improve,” Travers noted.